Gay marriage inspiring me to live a more loving life

Today, I was going to write about the a-maz-ing concert my hubby and I just got back from. I was going to write about the crowd, the dancing and the pure showmanship of it all. And then I got on Facebook. There were hundreds of little red equal signs staring back at me. That’s when I realized my ode to Josh Ritter’s concert would have to wait–I was just too grateful for all the support that love was getting.

Human rights marriage equality sign

Human rights marriage equality sign

As we wait to hear the Supreme Court’s ruling on DOMA and Prop 8, I am grateful for how far we as a nation have come. When I was growing up (and remember, I haven’t even yet had my 10 year high school reunion), kids at my school used “gay” as a synonym for “stupid,” “bad,” “annoying.” My parents never allowed that sort of speech in our house, and would immediately correct my friends if they used the word in a derogatory way. I’m grateful I was raised in home that had no room for hate speech, but I’m even more grateful that an ever-increasing number of other homes are not allowing hate to reside in them. More and more parents are accepting their children for who they are, regardless of gender identification. I’m grateful that total love and equality are becoming the norm rather than the exception.

Most of all, I’m grateful that we recognize we still have a lot to do. Even if the Supreme Court does rule in favor of gay marriage, injustice and bigotry still exist. Hours after I changed my profile picture to the marriage equality sign, a former classmate of mine wrote, “If we start allowing gays to marry, who’s to say we can’t allow polygamy, incest, and bestiality? I mean, it’s all in the name of “love” right?”

To that person, let me say this: My definition of marriage is an equal agreement two people come to in love and respect for one another. In the slippery slope argument of allowing polygamy, incest and bestiality equating to permitting gay marriage, your definition of marriage must be an incredibly unhealthy one. Two men can love each other, treat each other with respect and have an wonderfully happy marriage. A polygamist, on the other hand, tells his wives that, while he may have sex with however many women he chooses to marry, they may only sleep with him. He has the control. He holds the power, thereby negating the equality.

So do all marriages fall into what I’ve described in my definition? I wish they did, but if that were true, domestic abuse wouldn’t be such a prevalent problem in our society. What I can say is that I have seen some beautiful relationships, healthy relationships, between two people of the same sex. And I’m grateful for that, because it gives me hope in marriage as an institution.

So today, I’d like to thank everyone I know who strives to live in love, rather than hate. Whether you’re gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, or still figuring it all out, thank you for choosing to live with respect. You inspire me.

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